Being the social animals that we are, we are habitual of sharing minutest of details about our lives with others, especially our close circle. The question stands: should we really be this open about everything with everyone, especially our intimate relationship with our significant other? Of course not!
Here’s a list of 12 things about your relationship you should never disclose to anyone, not even your closest friends.
1. Particulars of your last argument
Whatever happens between the two of you should stay between the two of you. When it comes to disagreements and fights, nobody should know what it was about or who started it, what happened and all the other details your friends might use against him. Consider what Gilda Carle, PhD and author of Don’t Lie on Your Back for a Guy Who Doesn’t Have Yours: “If you tell others about your last fight, they, rather than your partner, will help solve the issue. Then you and your partner won’t have the know-how to navigate the next difficult problem.”.
2. How is your sex life going
It is the most intimate and closest thing you and your partner share and nobody ought to know what goes on in it. How many times you do it, how you do it, how your partner likes it and every other detail shouldn’t concern anyone. It is as simple as what Sara Nasserzadeh, a sexuality and relationship consultant and co-author of the Orgasm Answer Guide says, “Your sex life shouldn’t become someone else’s fantasy”.
3. The hideous gift he got for you
Okay, he bought you a present and you didn’t like it. Keep it to yourself and do not tell anyone – his gifts involve his sentiments, the gift means something to him. Dr Carle adds, “Even if this gift isn’t your taste, tell people that he was so sweet to be thinking of you—and that can never be faulted.”
4. Talks he has with you in private
“If a partner confides about one of the skeletons buried deep in his closet, it’s important for you to maintain this confidence. If not, the secret runs the risk of being uncovered,” says Ashley Grinonneau-Denton. There’s a reason he didn’t tell you “that thing” in public – he wants it to stay within the two of you and you should work to keep it that way.
5. Times when your in-laws get on your nerves
They are his family and yours too. Yes, they can be very annoying at times but just as you wouldn’t like someone telling others how annoying your family is, your partner wouldn’t appreciate you doing the same. “Be grateful that you have in-laws,” says Overstreet.
6. Financial issues
Everyone has them once in a while but you shouldn’t bring it up with your friends. It is a very sensitive topic and your partner would probably dislike it if you discuss with your circle how your partner is unable to meet your financial needs.
7. Stuff he is insecure about or his embarrassing habits
He is already struggling with these insecurities and, by telling others about it, you make him more uncertain. When you tell others about it, it seems to him as if they are a joke to you and nobody likes feeling this way, especially when your significant other is the one who sparks these feelings. Make them feel comfortable with their own idiosyncrasies.
8. That one of you cheated
Infidelity is a pressing concern but it is YOUR concern and yours only. It is your relationship and you get to decide whether it should be salvaged or not. Do not go about whining how you or your partner cheated. “With something as painful as an affair, it’s important to involve a skilled therapist to help you heal from the broken trust and betrayal,” says Grinonneau-Denton.
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9. His dislike for someone, especially your pals
It is okay if he doesn’t like some of your friends – it is impossible even for you to like every one of his friends. So, don’t go blabbering in front of them how your partner doesn’t have a liking for them – it only makes things awkward!
10. Anything your partner is unaware of
“Keep the shortcomings of your mate to yourself,” says Dr. Carle. “Otherwise, you’re inviting others to push you to defend why you’re with him.” In short, if you haven’t addressed your concerns to your partner, don’t discuss them with your friends.
11. How he failed his past relationships
It is more of an unsaid law! Understandably, if it didn’t happen to you, why should it be of anyone’s concern? Whatever shortcomings he had in his previous relationship, it is his life and nobody has the right to know about it. Use these details of his failed relationships to make yours stronger.
12. The private talks between the two of you
There are things he discusses with you in confidentiality, when no one is around. It is your job to keep it that way, to limit the details of the correspondence between the two of you only. Be it dirty messages, explicit pictures or sexy voicemails, keep them to yourself.